I used to approach things in a black or white manner.  So if a person was talking about, say, how they can't leave their house to face the world until their hair was done perfectly, their face was without blemish, and their clothes were meticulously ironed and spiffy, I would immediately make a judgment about them.  This way of doing things, I'm beginning to think, is less beneficial than other ways, for at least one reason: When I immediately judge a person, I am less likely to engage them in conversation and more likely to build a wall between us.  In other words, instead of asking them questions and genuinely being interested in finding out why they do what they do, I will probably try to give them some (rather shallow) advice, probably in some distasteful way like quoting select  Bible verses.

The more I learn, the more I realize that the world is full of various people with differing opinions, and this is a good thing.  Instead of quickly rushing to give my take on a given subject, I'm learning that it's wise to genuinely listen and attempt to understand the other's point of view.  Less black and less white; more orange and green and red and blue and fuchsia and violet and burgundy.

This forces me to do the hard work of actually putting flesh & blood on what I say I believe.  It's very easy to bloviate on a set standard and insist that others live up to said standard; it's harder and more authentic to orchestrate my own life around living a certain way.  This way, when I'm in a conversation and my opinion is asked, I will not simply talk about a high standard, but I will share my own journey, however much of a beautiful mess it is, not because people are more convinced of something after seeing it lived out (although that's true) but because the living-out itself is a better way of being in the world.

Obligatory Bible verse:

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.  --1 Thessalonians 4.11-12

And one of my favorite quotes from Dallas Willard:

The strongest impression on my mind has always been the person and teachings of Jesus Christ. That's true from [when I was] a very small child. I can remember clearly how impressed I was in Sunday school. I've never moved away from the basic project of "knowing Him and making Him known." This is not a particularly religious project; it's a human need. It is out of love of my neighbor, as well as love of God that I feel the imperative to do this.

And I believe the way to do it is not by being especially religious in the sense that people would normally understand that, but by just being an honest, open, thoughtful human being living among other human beings, depending on the grace of God.